Conquering Emotional Spending

15 Mar

20130315-131131.jpgI have a longing to mean something to someone. To connect with someone and to trust them. There’s nothing wrong with that longing. As a matter of fact, that longing is placed there by God. God said that it’s not good for man to be alone. He knew we would desire connection, and He created us for connection.

I have moments where my desire for connection actually interferes with connection. Instead of drawing people closer, I push them away. And so begins the tug of war on my heart. I question how to approach the relationships, and I even doubt my ability to maintain the relationships. “Do I continue talking to …?” “Should I leave…alone?”

This longing for connection and the uncertainty of how to relate to others has often led me to find other ways to fulfill that longing. I’ve often turned to “stuff” to fix my problems. I am an emotional spender, although lately I’ve done a much better job of handling those emotions.

If I were to recount all the times I’ve emotionally spent, it would probably discourage me. Could I pay off all my debt? Could I have enough for a down payment on a house? Probably at least one of them. But I cannot continue to focus on my past. I can learn from those mistakes, and I’m certainly willing to do that. I have to focus on my present and my future.

I’m so thankful that I am on the road to recovering from the emotional spending that has kept me bogged down for so long. I may not get it right all the time, but I’m growing and learning. Where there is growth, there is life. I believe that I’m on my way, and I’m thankful for all the people who have helped me get here!

I am growing and maturing in the way I relate to money, and I’m also maturing in the way I relate to people. My relationships are richer now. My heart is fuller. And my relationship with the Lord is stronger. God is good and faithful to me. I’m so thankful that He hasn’t given up on me, even when I wanted to give up on myself.

So, here’s to growth and success. I am more than a conqueror! “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” (Romans 8:37 KJV)

In what ways do you handle your emotional tendencies?

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